Queen Rania's Interview with Hoda Kotb on The Today Show

HODA KOTB: Queen Rania, Your Majesty, good morning. I want to get to all of that in just a second, because a lot of that, we're watching and we think, “Wow, she's just like us, we have those same feelings!”

But let's talk about the UN first. You know, I feel like the world is in such a dark place right now and I've heard you give speeches, and I feel that there is light there. Where do you see – where do you find that hope? And how do you convey it?

QUEEN RANIA: Well, you know, you're right. I think our world is at an inflection point, you know, and it seems like polarization is really a defining feature of our world. Whenever we see somebody who disagrees with us, it has become natural to demonize them.

HODA KOTB: Yeah.

QUEEN RANIA: And when you see everything through a political lens, it becomes very difficult to come together over any issue. And the irony is that the issues that we're facing today, from climate change, to migration, to inequality – those all need solutions that come from collaboration. So, if we're not talking to one another, we're not going to be able to find resolution to some of these issues. And I just feel like, we need more engagement that is rooted in optimism and hope, rather than fear.

And, you know, there's this wave of populism around the world that's using people's fears and insecurities for leaders to gain popularity. And that's not finding – that's not very helpful, it's not finding solutions. So I think we need to focus more, not on the why, for example, when it comes to climate change, but on the how: How do we find solutions?

HODA KOTB: At the CogX, you gave a beautiful speech, and you talked about how you used to think that strong leaders were tough and led from the front of the ship. But as you've grown, you realized that leaders – great leaders – actually lead from the back of the ship. They're behind, they're watching how things unfold. And in your opinion, those are the kinds of leaders who we should get behind…

QUEEN RANIA: I think to be a strong leader, you need to follow – follow the great movements that actually lead to people's engagement and lead to participation, that leads to change. You have to have some self-doubt. What we're seeing today is so much – you know, I called it, certainty on steroids when where you're not questioning yourself and you think that your opinion is right. I think we could all benefit when confronted with an opinion that differs from ours in just maybe replacing defensiveness with curiosity, because you could learn something new.

And it doesn't mean you have to agree with the other side. But you can try to find a little bit of a middle ground. And really, the frightening thing in our world today is that middle ground seems to be disappearing.

HODA KOTB: Well, yeah, it’s being lost.

QUEEN RANIA: We need to regain that middle ground because that is where change is going to happen.

HODA KOTB: And you're optimistic that that can happen?

QUEEN RANIA:  I think optimism is a choice.

HODA KOTB: I don't know if you remember this, but you've been here on this show many times. There was one time in particular that you came on when your youngest was four months old.

QUEEN RANIA. True. Yes.

HODA KOTB: I think we have a little video. This is now 18-year-old Hashem, he just graduated from high school. When you look at those images of him as that little boy and to see what he's become…

QUEEN RANIA: It's just scary how time flies, right? I mean, you know, as parents, I think it's our job to, you know, take care of our kids until they are old enough to go out into the world… but that doesn't make it easy when that day comes, actually. And, you know, in the span of three months, from the end of March to the beginning of June, I had two children get married and two graduate. I mean, what was I thinking?

HODA KOTB: So you're an empty nester, so to speak?

QUEEN RANIA: I'm an empty nester right now, you know, and it's just this wave of emotions. You know, with Iman, it was a new experience for our family because she's the first one to get married. And there was so much planning and anticipation, culminated in a really beautiful and emotional day. Nothing can prepare you for the moment you see your daughter in that white dress. You know, the mixture of emotions – pride at the strong and independent woman she's become, joy for her joy, sadness for her leaving home… it all comes together and nothing can prepare you for that.

HODA KOTB: Well, just to brag on your kids a little bit, Crown Prince Hussein went to Georgetown and the Royal Military Academy in England, Princess Iman started in Georgetown then transferred to New York's Parsons School of Design, Princess Salma graduated from USC, and now your son is off to college. You did good by all your kids.

Can I ask [about] one thing that we wrestle with here when it comes to our kids: kids and cell phones. I know this is off topic, but what is that like in your house? Is that something that you don't like to have around, your kids being on there?

QUEEN RANIA: Look, I don't think you can completely fight the trend. Because that's where children are. I mean, that's where the world is, technology is all around us. You can't fight it completely, but you need to regulate it.

HODA KOTB: Yeah.

QUEEN RANIA: And I think it's more about the values that you instill in your kids, you know, about themselves, the self-confidence, the discipline… all those things are important, and that will determine how they interact with their technology.

I mean, one of the first things when, just before my son announced his engagement, I took Rajwa to a side and the first thing I told her was, “You know, there's no such thing as a 100% approval rating. You're always going to have people that are against you. And the advice that I want to give you is, please try not to read the comments, you know, because that's just gonna –  you're just going to have self doubt. There's always going to be negativity, and that negativity is not about you. It's from the person; they're unhappy in their own life, so don't carry that unhappiness. Just keep focusing on what it is you want to do, because it'll shake your confidence. You think it's not going to affect your morale, but it does.

And so you just need to develop healthy habits around technology. And that's what you try to teach your kids – not to stay away necessarily from their phones, but to interact with them in a healthier way and to always establish that balance.

HODA KOTB: Well, you've done so well by your children, and also just by just the way you're navigating your way through the world and how you're helping everyone. I just want to say thank you. It's been my honor to sit with you, Queen Rania, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Thank you.

QUEEN RANIA: It’s a pleasure.